Sunday, September 26, 2004
-9/26/2004 10:20:00 AM
everyone's mugging so hard and I'm not even feeling guilty, not one bit, something's wrong with me
Friday, September 24, 2004
-9/24/2004 11:06:00 PM
today was just utter waste of time..
spent the whole day in sch trying to scrape stuff outta my wallet haha.. and folding straws... and playing connect 4...
Zz
ZzzzZZzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
just came back from honour's night... bored me to death as expected... only thing that amused me was the different kinds of parents the students in acjc had... and how they dressed haha...
I can't look ahead right now coz I don't see a future in me... my whole life is wasted.... just mere 2 months and 1.5 years of friendship went down the drain.... so not worth it....
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
-9/21/2004 08:11:00 PM
just came back from honour's night rehearsal.
dunno what happened, but I just got hit by unfortunate circumstances one by one.
1. came late for the rehearsal coz I had to wait for some ppl... got reprimanded by harvi..
2. shirt was tucked out, had to stand up while everyone was sitting just to tuck in my shirt
3. shook mark ng's hand and just walked off, forgot to "collect the cert"
4. couldn't bow properly and had to do it a few times on stage in front of everyone
5. my shoes couldn't pass, have to find new shoes by thurs
thank God I didn't go crazy
I think I lost a friend already.
haiz
gonna meet up wif jan and jo later to study :D can tell them abt my screw ups :) bleah
friends have been telling me that the best way to forget is to have new memories haha. VERY EZ INDEED...
Sunday, September 19, 2004
-9/19/2004 09:29:00 PM
caught this phrase from the sunday times today
"finding the right partner at the wrong time is just as good as finding the wrong partner"
so much truth in it..yet so untrue... God has already planned everything for us even before we were made..
ah well.. on a lighter note, my hamsters gave birth to babies!!! I have 3 generations of hamsters living at my place right now haha!
went for the adult service today coz I had tuition in the afternoon and couldn't attend the youth service again... :( so many thoughts were swooming through my mind throughout the service... couldn't really concentrate on the sermon... tried to stay focused but it just wouldn't go away... just like a terrible song stuck in your head.... I dunno when this torture will end...
Saturday, September 18, 2004
-9/18/2004 10:20:00 PM
just came back from one of the heaviest dinner I've ever had, haven't eaten so much in my entire life in one day...
celebrated my grandma's and sis's bday at some restaurant near the kallang stadium at leisure park.. started off with a buffet which had everything! cold dishes, dim sums, western food, seafood, shark's fin! chilli crabs! prawns! blah blah blah... then there was steam boat... then we ended off with dessert - escargot aka snails.... haha... first time I've ever tried fried snails... tasted like mutton actually haha...
the grueling task of studying is gonna begin very soon for me... starting off with chem tuition tmr and monday.... phy tuition on wed...plus im grounded.... help!
God please give me strength to study
Friday, September 17, 2004
-9/17/2004 11:57:00 PM
got my poor results as I expected... O F F...
was really disappointed with my math and phy... chem was expected...
oh well. hope they hyper-moderate.
ah well. at least I have my classmates to join me in the Fs.
went to breko at hv to chill with zhi, et , jiewei and lynette. every few mins, someone will call to ask about their results, heard that some of their friends were really sad when they got results like BCCD?!?!?! wth.... I would just cry with joy if I ever get that...
I still wanna thank God for my GP haha.. first time I ever passed my compo in my JC life lol. can't believe I passed phy paper 3 too... miracle. ah well, enough abt results, gonna have chem test tmr -.- really out of point....
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
-9/15/2004 08:17:00 PM
whole class failed chem except for two ppl who passed by one mark
whole class failed math except for 3 ppl
whole class failed gp except for 5 ppl
havent heard any news of phy results yet...
estimated results:
whole class will fail except for one person haha... ME :) jk...
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
-9/14/2004 05:31:00 PM
school just started and it's already so stressful. homework's piling at the speed of light.
trying to pry stuff outta my head. trying to keep my cool. failure.
wished I was in another world, where life was smooth-sailing and without tribulations. how nice :)
ah well... it's only a few more weeks. hope I can last that long... . . . .
okok here's what happened on Monday,
chapel was great :) did a waste-of-time survey. school was really short thankfully :) zhi, et, jiewei and I chilled at breko at hv, ended up playing hearts :) et, jiewei and I had to come back to sch for some honours night briefing... bleah. pissed off.
Tuesday,
longest school day of the week. passed by really quickly though. double math lect was spent on connect four gaming wif the whole class haha! we were really bored. . had one of the slackiest chem practs in history, as my chem teacher went for reservice, chem was taken by gabriel cheong, the smartest kid in town who was my senior in string ensemble ! He knew joshua and ashley too through acsi chamber orch, so it was really cool being taught by a familiar face :) and he was slack too :) haha...
double gp tmr -.- bleah.
7 more weeks to start of A levels, not inclusive of practicals -.- DIE . . still need more time . . can't even concentrate on my studies now -.- bleah
Saturday, September 11, 2004
-9/11/2004 10:03:00 AM
don't know how I'm gonna stay awake when sch reopens, wif 6 hrs of sleep during the hols :( I just can't produce my healthy 8 hrs of sleep anymore. die.
I'm addicted to computer games. die.
hmm..
FRIDAY
woke up.
brushed teeth.
went straight to the com and stoned.
went out for lunch at sakae sushi.
didn't eat much as usual.
HATE JAP FOOD!
ah wellz.
it's the company that counts.
went for cell after that.
really happy to see my friends again!
haha... after missing two weeks of cell :p
rushed to town after that wif joses to meet zhi and et for a movie haha.
i've been spending way too much money on movies and food already.
pretty broke.
played cards at lido macs after that.
joses left us at around 1130.
3 of us stayed on to play daidee haha -.- bored.
we decided to play lan haha!
went to cine and played frm 12 to 3 haha... hardcore. broke.
et was just telling me how it isn't worth it.
why is the whole world telling me that?
thank God zhi's got a lift for me.
if not i would hafta stone in town until the first bus arrives. thank God.
reached home.couldn't sleep.
finished my book :)
woke up wif 6 hrs of sleep again.
gonna watch cinderella story today -.- another movie-.-broke-.-
sch is starting!!! ahhhhhhhhhh! results! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
-9/08/2004 11:34:00 PM
went to watch HAROLD AND KUMAR - to white castle - today!
BLARDY FUNNY!!!!! AND STUPID!! haha... helped me ease my mind off stuff... for a while anyway haha... all those of you who haven't watched it and past 18 yrs of age... GO WATCH IT! haha.. by a stroke of luck both of us managed to get into the theatre underaged LOL! miracle...
had 2 hrs b4 tuition after the movie... killed time by reading Dan Brown book - Digital Fortress... that book got confiscated a month ago by my form teacher coz I was reading it during chapel haha ... oops... almost finished the book anyway :) love his books...
phy tuition.... really happy to see my friends again :) esp joshua leong :) gotto talk abt stuff our class did which he nv gotta do coz of his strict parents haha.... after phy tuition.... had a dinner date wif my dad.... then it was off to chem tuition.... bleah... 2 hrs of pure time wastage... without reception -.- my brain was fried by then... ah.. wouldnt even understand chem even if I was wide awake anyway :p hate chem
I'm surprisingly bz during the hols haha... dunno why... guess I didn't really notice the importance of friendship. I didn't really treasure anything in the past... maybe now even... I dunno... i'm just taking all my stuff for granted. Some things we gotta learn thru mistakes.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
-9/07/2004 10:29:00 AM
bored bored bored bored bored bored
every organ in my body's aching right now.
someone please regenerate me and wipe off my memory!
had chem tuition ytd, my first lesson. chem tutor spoke funny. ended up stoning in the lesson. worse still, no reception in the room, couldn't reply my msgs :(
chem tuition again tmr. 2 hrs of wasted time again, missing charmed somemore :'( phy tuition immediately b4 that somemore :'( nothing to look forward to :'(
on a brighter side :) gonna play lan wif classmates tonight :) woohoo!
If only life were without worries :) If only life were meant to have fun! If only there weren't studying in this world, if only everything was based on imagination. If only wishes came true. If only everyone was able to forgive and forget ezly. If only we could turn back time, If only....
Monday, September 06, 2004
-9/06/2004 01:55:00 PM
I realised I'm not the only one wif problems. So many others have their problems too.
Why must all the problems start during the hols... how ironic.
During church ytd, the pastor was just telling us to cast our problems in areas of bad relationships and breakups to God...
I was stunned in my seat. Just received your sms. It was so accurate, so timely. Well, It shows that God's in control and he will make a way for me, he does not want me to worry at all. yup, that's what I'm gonna do.
After service, a genuine, unforced smile finally formed across my face after many days :) Thank God.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
-9/04/2004 01:07:00 PM
yesterday was yet another screwed up day :)
our class had planned to play soccer wif 2sg4, but everyone decided not to, so I somehow ended up wif zhi, anggah, zhao, kenneth, chung and bullshit the b ballers...
we planned to rent bikes frm east coast and cycle to sentosa for b ball games...
everything went wrong, for a start, i was already in a bad mood.
the mrt journey to eunos was longer than it seemed, everyone was tired and down in spirits.
no one knew how to get to ecp, ended up taking wrong buses and making unnecessary long walks. worse still, it started to pour. it couldn't get any worse when we left our one and only b ball on the bus!?!! and the bus terminated at toa payoh!? we were devastated and tired at that time haha.. sigh...
asked God for strength in all of us... the rain stopped, we cheered up, took a cab to marine parade and rented our bikes frm there :) ended up paying 20 bucks for rental from 2pm to 2pm the next day... yup...
the east was unknown to us and we had to rely on luck to bring us wherever we wanted to go...
ended up cycling to town haha... after an hour of cycling....
it was pretty messy in town, so many ppl everywhere! banged into someone's hand accidentily! ouch! sigh.. saw so many ACJC couples in town haha... scandals coming up...
took a break at taka, then we carried on cycling to river valley, tiong bahru, then to sentosa... hated the steep slopes in sentosa... loved the downhill ones though haha :) thank God for keeping us safe and sound :)
it was already 6pm at that time, sun was setting, no one was playing b ball at the courts... we didnt have a ball too :( decided to sneak into rasa sentosa to swim haha.... but we got chased out by security in the end... sigh...
some of them went to swim in the sea, while chung kenneth and I were just chatting and eating, talking abt some scandals in sch ahha... so fun...
cycled back to town for dinner at cine, our legs were already falling apart, buttocks burnt out, hands aching... but we pulled through haha....
left town at midnight, went to zhao's house at kovan (upp. serangoon)... it was quite a long cycle to his house.... we were dead tired by the time we reached there...but we were rewarded wif a good hot bath and PS2 games!!! winning eleven! haha.. sooo fun... but everyone dozed off one by one...
our bad luck came back the next day when zhao's bike broke down while we were leaving the estate. it was a blessing in disguise actually as we didn't hv to cycle all the way back to marine parade to return the bikes! instead, the bike shop owner drove down and returned the bikes for us for just 12 bucks more hahaha... sigh...
couldnt really sit down on the mrt as i went home... intense pain down there.... flashbacks of memories just came back and I tried to shut them off by calling friends... ended up talking to them abt my stuff... ah well...
felt really bad abt missing cell grp, haven't seen u guys for 2 weeks :( sorry... really needed to escape frm reality for a while..i'll be better soon, i hope...thx for all the encouragements anyway. really appreciated it :)
Thursday, September 02, 2004
-9/02/2004 11:40:00 PM
wasted the whole morning today staring at the ceiling, was wide awake but I refused to get out of bed.
pinched myself a few times hoping it was just a terrible nightmare. damn back to reality.
went online for the next6 hrs, no where to be seen.
met up wif my classmates for dinner at fish&co. at night, decided to just spend to relieve the pain haha. didn't work that well. really glad there were ppl there to cheer me up wif their lame jokes, smiles :) good food, great bonding :)
thx Andrea too for the smiles in your photos :) such a bunch of happy ppl u made friends wif :)
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
-9/01/2004 09:57:00 PM
Life is a bed of thorns
everything just came to a halt today. what a journey it has been.
now I wish there weren't any holidays at all.
I've got all the time in the world right now, what to do wif it.
everyone's rejoicing and playing after prelims. why can't I? life's not fair.
everything lost in a day.
someone pass me a compass pls! I need direction.
Thank God I've got friends
that feeling's just too overwhelming for me, can't hold them back, help, they are trickling down.
time machine? cheating myself... Regret? lots.
I wanna run away from reality, as far as I can, but my friends need me as much as I need them.
Stress. Sigh.
Haha just watched CHARMED just now, if only I could have powers to erase memories, I would erase mine. Or should I?
Well I got back my life 2 months ago.
Life of freedom, happiness, trust, friendship,
Life without love, care, worries, struggles
sigh.
U seem so eager to get over and done with it. why? maybe ur different.
God why did u do this to me, why did uturn me into this monster? someone just kill me
